The addition of children to a family can be a time of joy and for many the fulfillment of a long held dream. Children are often seen as completing a family and being the very reason for marriage and long term partnerships. As much as most children are loved and wanted, their arrival can also be a time of stress and disillusionment, particularly with first children, mainly because most new parents have no real idea what they are in for before their baby arrives.

The pressure brought to bear on a single parent or couple with the arrival of a new baby can be enormous, especially in the 21st century when more and more parents have to juggle work and home committments often without the support of a nearby extended family. Many couples are shocked at the effect a baby can have on their relationship as priorities change, finances are stretched and the physical toll of caring for an infant 24/7 begins to tell.

At The Centre for Integrated Therapies we believe that welcoming new children into a family should be a time of joy and security for all concerned but recognise that this is often not the case. The result is broken homes, failed relationships and damaged children. We have developed our program 'Preparing for Parenting to enable new parents and their families to work together to identify and address some of the key issues that create extreme pressure in households with small children. In doing so our aim is to help new parents take a concious and cohesive appraoch to parenting which allows their children to grow and devlop in a harmonious and supportive environment. One of the outcomes of this program is the creation of an informed and considered parenting contract which you can use when discussing your parenting strategies with your immediate and extended family.

The program in 'Preparing for Parenting' is delivered in ten sessions:

1. The Primary Carer. Who will be the primary carer for your child? What will that person be responsible for? If there is another carer, what will their role be inside and outside the home? How can shared care work in practice?

2. Sole Parents. What are the special considerations for sole parents? How can you buld a support team and why do you need one? Who should, and should not, help care for your children? How do you get a break?

3. The Financial Situation. Will one partner stop working and if so, for how long? How will you manage changes in your finances? What will the financial position of the stay-at-home parent be? What will your financial priorities be?

4. The Working Life. Who, if anyone, will continue to work? How soon after the birth will the mother return to work? Who will care for the child when both parents are working? How will a home/work balance be achieved?

5. Maintaining a Sexual Relationship. How soon after the birth do you expect to start having sex again? How will you manage changes in levels of sexual desire? What if the birth experience has changed your feelings about sex? Why is a healthy sexual relationship important?

6. Managing Conflict. How will you manage conflict in a way that respects your child's need for security? Do you have conflict resolution strategies that do not involve shouting? How will you keep lines of communication open under pressure? Can you recognise the signs of post-natal depression and know what to do?

7. Parenting Practicalities. What are your views on breastfeeding, childcare, diet, vaccinations, bedtimes, routines and discipline? How will you negotiate agreement in these areas? Why is it important to your children that you agree on how they are brought up? How can you reach a compromise when you cannot agree?

8. Your Relationship. How will you maintain your relationship as partners and not just parents? What is the role of the extended family or support teamin nurturing your relationship? Why does it matter to your children that you are partners and have an independent relationship? How will you manage relationship crises?

9. Culture and Religion. What are the cultural and religious aspects of your famly that will inform how you bring up your childen? How will you respect and celebrate different religious and cultural values with your children? How will the religious and cultural values of your extended families impact on your family unit? 

10. Values and Morals. What values and morals do you think it is important to instill in your child? What do you see as being right and wrong? How will you create a moral framework in your family? How will you manage a conflict of values between parents or families?

 

To enrol in this program please contact us at the clinic on 01225 316670 or email us at mail@centreforintegratedtherapies.com.